Self-criticism; how to stop? What is self-criticism, and how can it appear? Why do people go deeper into self-criticism and how it can end? The most effective ways to turn self-criticism into healthy self-criticism. Whatever the reason for your busy criticism, you need to learn that the situation requires mandatory correction. Otherwise, the whole life will turn into a process of self-digestion.
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Ways to combat self-criticism
Samoyed’s main characteristic is an obsession with himself and his imperfections. It not only destroys it from the inside, leads to illness and nervousness, but also makes it uninteresting to others. Therefore, the destructive power of self-criticism needs to be channeled into creativity. I can use several methods for this.
One of the most effective ways to stop self-criticism is to learn to turn on self-criticism before the procedure, not after it. Here you can use the well-known proverb about what is better to do and regret what you did not do. For example, if you need to do something that is not too fun for you (call, conversation, action, decision), use internal “aggressive” resources to get you going. Then you don’t have to criticize yourself for inaction or missed opportunities.
Make it a habit to control your emotions during confidence. A strict statement, in this case, will be much more effective than aggression and insulting yourself with the last words. It would help if you mastered the art of getting your emotions and constantly improving your emotional intelligence. And remember that seriousness is an aggressive feeling based on reality and expressed at the right time, as opposed to self-branding, which is based on emotions and actions, often far from actual events and feelings.
Another surefire way to get rid of self-criticism on your own is to learn the proper motivation for self-criticism. Namely, the positive feelings after a flawless operation must completely cover the negative ones that preceded it. In other words, if you forced yourself to do something unpleasant or unbearable for yourself with the help of internal kicks and succeeded, the joy of the result will be greater than the anger that prompted you to act. Adapting such motivation “the result is worth it” will allow each time to make less effort to decide to work.
The right “speed.”
The desire to be on time for everything at once often becomes a reason to torment oneself with accusations of incompetence, weakness, powerlessness, discomfort, indecision, etc. Learn to accelerate slowly: set realistic goals and no less realistic deadlines for achieving them. Remember one of the main rules of successful implementation of plans: to achieve great results, it is better to break the process into several stages. It is reaching the goal by taking ten small solid steps and not one risky leap. It psychologically simplifies the task and allows you to make timely changes when the operation is performed. And at the same time, understanding how important the goal is.
Adequate self-criticism stop perception
To fight self-criticism effectively, you need to deprive it of fertile soil. To do this, try to replace the habit of washing your bones for some reason with the pattern of perceiving yourself as you are. You need to accept yourself as a person with all your quirks and unique qualities that used to be the reasons for starting self-criticism. Now you have to love them and try to turn them into advantages, strong sides of the character. It is equally important to learn to forgive your mistakes and perceive them not as a reason for self-pity but as a person and, therefore, invaluable experience.
The right atmosphere
The less free time you have, the less likely you are to engage in self-criticism. Therefore, try to minimize periods of idleness and occupy these “empties” with a fascinating occupation or hobby. It will give you time for self-criticism and add positivity and enthusiasm to your life. Change your environment by supporting positive, vibrant people. Replace newspapers, television viewing, and social media with books and articles with life-directing meaning. Another option to understand no possibility of self-criticism is to do charity work. The latter will make you especially aware of the insignificance of your problem behind the problems of others who, simultaneously, continue to live, and the world continues to exist. Creativity alters consciousness just as effectively. You can paint, play music, knit.
Model the situation
The main difference between self-criticism and healthy self-criticism is that it has a beginning but no logical end. Therefore, to stop the onslaught of self-criticism in time, train yourself to follow the rule of three questions. To do this, every time you feel a strong desire to engage in self-marking, take a piece of paper and divide it into three equal columns. In the first column, answer the question “What did I do?” That is, write down the event that made you feel guilty. In the second column – to the question “What could I do?”, In other words, like to write your desired behavior in this situation – your words, gestures, behavior, and intonation. In the third – to the question “What can I do tomorrow?”
Self-criticism is characterized by the fact that a person becomes obsessed with the past, an event that has already happened. Therefore, you need to try to shift the vector of your thoughts and experiences in the opposite direction for the future. Daily planning with an evening outline will help with this. Make it a rule in the morning (or the night before) to plan your actions for the day, and in the evening, cross off all the completed points and analyze the past day. Meanwhile, during the day, try to focus on the tasks at hand, look at the plan you have made, and praise yourself for your performance. Focus on what you want, what you like, and what you enjoy, and avoid anything that causes discomfort and discomfort.